Why did God allow my husband to cheat on me? Why? It’s a question I asked in tears, anguish, and with a balled fist. I was sad at first, and hurt, but eventually, that gave way to anger at God. He could have stopped my husband; he SHOULD have stopped my husband. Why would he allow me to go through so much pain? Was I perfect in our marriage? No, not by a long shot, but I would have never had sex with another man.
After years of pain and sorrow over my dead marriage, I am sitting her today (remarried to the man that once cheated on me) and I still wonder just what God sees that I can’t. Maybe one day we will see it all, but for now, we can only look back and judge based off of our limited knowledge and understanding of God. Sometimes God will allow you to see things, and sometimes we are left wondering.
I can look at the Bible and understand a few basic truths about why God allowed my husband to cheat.
– First of all, my husband is a sinner. That is a clear and obvious truth. I may have assumed too much to think my husband was incapable of this kind of betrayal because we all sin and fall short of the glory of God, so why would this be any different?
– I can also see now many many things I did throughout our marriage that paved a road for this kind of sin in my marriage. This is not to say that you and I are ever to blame for someone else’s sin, but we do bear the weight and responsibility of our sins, and there is a pretty good chance that our sins have and will affect the lives of our husbands. I had an emotional affair, and while this was the first of many issues that could and would burn my marriage to the ground, I would be a fool not to look into the mirror first.
– God is sovereign. The Bible says ” and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to his purpose. So rewritten this would answer our question … Why did God allow my husband to cheat? Do you see this? And we know that in all things… even our husband cheating on us, God is working for our good, according to HIS purpose. It’s not according to our purpose, but it does say that it’s for our good. How could my husband’s affair possibly be for my good, though?
We can’t always know the answer to that, but we can look at a familiar story to remind ourselves of God’s goodness. I want you to read the story of Joseph, and consider that you are Joseph and Joseph’s brothers are your husband and the “other woman.” While we don’t know what will become of our story yet, and we may not be able to see our story the way we can see Joseph’s we do see the same God. We love and serve the God of Joseph, and there is hope in that.
So what can we do? Well, we know that we can do nothing apart from Christ. So let’s focus our attention there. Let’s commit to focusing not on our husband’s affair, but instead on God.
Today, I want you to go before our Lord, and ask Him why He allowed your husband to cheat. Don’t be afraid to ask him what he wants you to learn, and what good he will bring from this. Ask him those questions and abide in him. I can’t tell you why God has allowed our husbands to go astray in this way, but I can tell you that I know, without a doubt, there is a reason for this suffering, and that reason is for our good.
I will leave you with this verse.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Jeremiah 29: 11-12