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9 Problems With Low Carb Diets: You’ve Been Warned

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vegetables and a place marker with text 9 problems with low carb diets

Today I’m sharing 9 Problems With Low Carb Diets because I’m worried about you!

Yes, you, the person who is living the keto lifestyle.

The low-carb diet.

The Atkins fan.

Even you paleo lovers.

We need to talk!

Here are nine problems with low-carb diets. Be prepared; this WILL change your life.

Problems with Low-Carb Diets:

The Food:

1. You’ll always be full.

I don’t even know what to tell you. Imagine it, eating and feeling full.

You don’t just feel full in your tummy; your head knows it too!

Without all the chemicals and sugars telling you you’re still hungry, you won’t be eating nearly as much. 

2. You will lose weight.

Yep, I know this one is a toughie for so many.

The first week the pounds will drop like you’ve had cosmetic surgery, and you’ll be left wondering how one person could carry so much water weight.

Carbs are a great way to store water for all those times you need it, and now, well, you’re no longer bloated, and your pants fit.

Not cool low carb, not cool!

One day you may even want to wear a bikini!

O.M.G.

3. You won’t crave those donuts anymore.

This has to be the worst.

You know that fantastic feeling when you know you shouldn’t eat that cake, cookie, candy bar, or donut?

Well, thanks to the stupidness that is low-carb living, those cravings are practically non-existent.

Now you can look at or even stare at those foods, and you don’t even care.

My dad waved a giant marshmallow in my face over the weekend, and I didn’t even want it.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

People

4. Your friends will be jealous. 

This one can be pretty bad if you have lots of friends.

Thankfully, I don’t.

Prepare for your friends to tell you how they wish they had your willpower (ha, what they don’t know), OR that they’ve tried everything, and it’s just their genetics, OR that they think you’re TOO skinny.

Yep, the friendz, they do be jealous! If you have lots of friends, run away from this diet now…. ruuuuuunnnnn away!!

5. You’ll realize that your doctor or your child’s doctor is a wackadoo.

So I’ve been pretty sarcastic throughout much of this post; okay, the entire post, but this is serious.

After living this lifestyle for a while, you will wonder how these so-called doctors got their degrees.

I once had a pediatrician from hell tell me that whole milk has butter and that giving it to my daughter is like giving her a stick of butter before dinner.

I couldn’t make this stuff up. He also told me that 16-year-old boys come to his office with stunted growth.

An introductory study in puberty will tell you that boys don’t start growing until 16 and most from 18-21, so someone may need to talk to this guy!

Poor short pre-pubescent boys who think they will be short forever. 🙁

2022 Update: My boys are both taller than my 6’0 husband!

Cooking

6. You’ll be more creative in the kitchen.

Your family has enjoyed Hamburger Helper for years, so look at you changing it!

Snap out of it and stick with the family traditions.

Are we suddenly Rachel Ray? I don’t think so.

We need to forget this low-carb thing and stick to the packaged products we’ve been using for years.

Homemade gluten-free, low-carb pizza crust? Get out of here!

7. You will no longer pollute your body with harmful laboratory-created chemicals.

You have been using chemicals you can’t name in your meals for the last 30 years.

Why stop a good thing?

Why eat natural whipped cream when you could buy it full of partially hydrogenated oils?

Packaged foods are loaded with carbs and tons of other things your body needs to evolve into the next human species!

If it doesn’t agree with your gut, it will… eventually.

Either that or you’ll die. Survival of the fittest baby!

Miscellaneous Problems With Keto:

8. You’ll have energy and desire to work out.

There is nothing worse than losing that sluggish feeling.

There are songs about it, I do believe. “I’ve lost that lethargic feeling, oh that lethargic feeling… I’ve lost that lethargic feeling now it’s gone, gone, gone, oh no, no, no..” 😉

Why would you want to get in shape when watching other people do it on TV is much more fun?

Get back on that couch this instant!

Next thing you know, you’ll be listening to this guy tell you how awesome you look bending over.

Gross.

9. Suddenly, you’ll realize just how obsessed the world is with food.

 I call this one the great low-carb awakening.

This is possibly the most alarming problem of all.

You’ll notice that everyone in the world is obsessed with food and eating it, everyone but you.

The church pushes goldfish, the bank pushes lollipops, the teachers reward with Twinkies, and the list continues.

Why didn’t you notice this before?

Why is everyone so freaking hungry all the time?

Why does the world think food is a reward and not fuel for the body?

Why are we constantly bombarded with images of food everywhere we go?

Make it stop! Make it all stop!

Close your eyes now and eat those Twinkies; all the truth you see will melt away.

So there you go; these are justnine9 problems with low-carb diets; I’m sure there are more.

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s time for some serious carb-loading! 😉

~ This post contains affiliate links to help you find the products we use.  

Beverly Hommy

Monday 11th of January 2016

From what I've read, it's required once a week to spark weight loss. ??

Beverly Hommy

Thursday 7th of January 2016

I have looked at many keto websites. I like yours the best. I love your recipes and your witty comments. I have a question? How do I carbload? Without gaining? Side note ...I'm allergic to eggs.

ketosizeme

Monday 11th of January 2016

Hey Beverly, can I ask why you are interested in carb loading? What are you trying to do? I may be able to help you if I know what your goals are. Thanks!